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Nigeria’s thieving heads: brief history of an African kleptocracy

Era of Thieving Generals

by Chin Ce

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Nigeria before the thieving era, prior to the civil war of 1967-70, was running a balanced tripod of sprawling northern, eastern and western regions. Healthy competition in education and agriculture insured regional advancements within a high degree of independent resource control.

While the north with its feudal structure maintained marginal lead in groundnut production, the sophisticated west was to excel in cocoa exports, and the enterprising east was the reserve of sprawling palm oil plantations for which the emerging Malaysia nation came to borrow a seed.

Those years of 1956-1966 may have marked the golden age of Nigerian economic and political development, now necessitating strident calls to restructure the debilitated federation along the original vision of the nation’s founding fathers, a call desperately resisted by proponents of fascist nationhood currently led by President Buhari and his fistful of adherents at state and federal assemblies.

General Ironsi

It is still a subject of general consternation that the military putsch of 1966 brought in an Ironsi to the table, and he deemed it expedient in his ‘six-foot of foolishness'(1) to annex the regions and foist a strange form of centralism that was typical of poor military education in political solutions that hardly reasons beyond the force of command and violence.

Strictly of buccaneer mentality during his brief megalomaniac era, Ironsi’s abolition of the regions proved a thievery of the Nigerian constitutional federalism, having set the stage for the wild state of centralised looting by blood thirsty vampires in his wake.

General Gowon

With Ironsi’s execution came a meretricious jack named colonel Gowon. His was a worse form of thievery in hierarchy, resulting to his colleague, colonel Ojukwu of the eastern region, refusing to recognize him as head of state.

Then overnight, by sheer audacity, the uneducated co conspirator was made general to command civil war police action against the easterners who had opted not to rejoin a federation that had assumed unitarian tyranny.

After the war, oil exportation began and this man felt money was not the problem with Nigeria but how to spend it. Consequently the general ran a mendacious military, a slew of corrupt bureaucrats and an injudicious government that neglected agriculture.

Fela Kuti, the irrepressible voice of the people at that time was relentless in exposing the profligate head of state, Gowon. But we can hear him today, now an octogenarian in spite of the hindsight of history, passing off himself as a model of frugality by the same art of public lying which he employed to run Nigeria aground in his youth(2).

History nevertheless certifies that Gowon was kicked out in 1976 by his cohorts for corruption and ineptitude. And Nigeria was led by another genocidal maniac.

General Mohammed

Executioner and mass murderer in the war with the east, this veritable footsoldier whose head was made to dot a national currency was easily a hero of the northern oligarchy. By him, every northerner without a school certificate was guaranteed general in the Nigerian army.

Mohammed’s looting began from the civil war years when he raided the central bank of Benin in mid western Nigeria. Although he was later to make a tendentious gesture of returning the looted funds, his anti corruption war against his immediate predecessor was barbaric in travesty, sprinkled with mindless phraseology tagged ‘with immediate effect.’

Yet, in spite of his vaunted fanatical religiosity, honoured by lackeys like Buhari himself, the law of karma proved exacting as a middle belt colonel, named Dimka, was on hand to send him packing barely six  months into his pseudo nationalist revolution.

General Obasanjo

Mohammed’s reluctant second-in-command ran a lame duck regime from 1976-1979 which deluded itself of greatness. Nigeria was to become a world power, he boasted, while mounting a controversial election and handing off the baton to a civilian order bound to fail by its unworkable 1979 constitution, which was never written by the people, or for the people but by the army, and for the army. Obasanjo’s private stash included a humongous bank loan and the amassment of a whole colony at Otta, ostensibly for farming.

Here the era of generals robbing their country dumb enjoyed a brief interregnum in a strange form of democracy by army arrangement.

Mr Shagari

By 1979, unitarianism had triumphed in Nigeria with a witless document scribbled by the army and called federal constitution.

The school teacher who became president had no vision other than running for reelection under this corrupted form of federalism that still managed to morph onto every dispensation in national history with ministers, public servants, legislators running amuck with stealing the oil mineral resources of the Niger delta.

In his waning year in office, Shagari was forced to acknowledge, in his own words, ‘the mounting rubbish of corruption’ (2) but did nothing decisive to end it.

New Era of Generals 1983-1999

Shagari was kicked out in December 1983, paving the way for a horde of raving lunatics of the armed forces to jostle for authority to plunder the nation’s wealth anew. By this time a surfeit of generals from the deserts of Chad and Niger republics had littered the barracks of Nigerian army. There was nothing else to do but drink local broth ‘pepper soup’ at the barracks and plan coups d’etat.(3)

General Buhari

A trail of poverty, retrenchments and draconian decrees followed the era of this tyrant and his deputy by name Idiagbon. They had come with a vengeance, promising that certain people, like the celebrated musical legend, Fela Kuti, who had loudly likened them to ‘zombies’, were going to rot in jail.

Their obnoxious Decree no. 4 that gagged journalists was to ensure nobody queried his past looting, the missing billions at the nation’s petroleum sector, and the money laundering involving 53 suitcases that went through the airport to their cabal emirate in the North under the watch of Muhammadu Buhari in 1984.

Insensitive to Nigerian multi religious, multi ethnic temperament, Buhari ran his Muslim-Muslim government with his Idiagbon crony and was proceeding upon their vain, arrogant Islamist project before he was locked out by his military colleagues on the queue for a taste of the spree.

General Babangida

Probably the most ambitious of Nigeria’s kleptomaniac generals, this head of state via the palace coup of 1985 enjoyed the singular impetus to call himself president while in the army.

A spell of eight harrowing years filled with cronyism, self glorification, hedonism, manic enrichment, media persecution and horrendous murders was the legacy of Ibrahim Babangida’s regime to Nigerians. In the end he annulled the very election that was to return the country to civil conduct in 1993, and passed off the baton to his illiterate folk’s man, general Sani Abacha.

Mr Shonekan

The agreement to keep an armed Abacha in office after Babangida’s rather unceremonious exit was in order to boot out an interloper history will remember as the Shonekan shenanigan. Only in Nigeria could Africa have witnessed a civilian head of state appointed by a discredited military junta. Like Ironsi, there was no time for Shonekan to loot the nation as he remained a pariah in his brief epiphany of ‘headship.’

General Abacha

Described by Nobel laureate, Wole Soyinka, as the most insensitive creature to preside over the Nigerian nation(4), Abacha was easily winner of the trophy for murderous psychopaths in the history of Nigeria’s thieving heads.

This man brutally executed hundreds of the opposition, laundered Nigeria’s petro dollars, sent thousands on exile and liquidated Nigerian economy by massively stashing state funds in foreign coffers. Supported by fellow yeoman, Muhammadu Buhari, who was empowered to run another queer petroleum trust fund under his regime, Abacha earned a place in the hall of infamy as hell priest of the dark age of an African nation.

General Abubakar

After five years of eclipse, Abacha died in office, 1998, paving the way for more serial looting in the hands of General Abubakar. The darkness did not wane, rather more billions were swindled under this regime, along with cohorts working as service chiefs and supporters of the administration.

Under this new band of looters, the winner of the June 1993 elections, MKO Abiola, was murdered, CIA style, in prison – the northern cabal’s Nazi equivalent of a final solution to the Jewish question that stopped the ill fated Abiola from claiming his mandate ever after.

Current Civil Looting 1999 – ?

In 1999, the era of civil looting began anew under the second coming of no less an armoured brigand than Obasanjo. The filthy document of 1979 was rehashed into what is now glibly touted as ‘1999 constitution as amended.’ Still, all it offered was the corrupt suzerainty of an amorphous centre to the pauperisation of states and other municipal stakes in government.

The generals, now retired, having amassed their stolen wealth for politics, proceeded to fill the slots of senators, legislators, ministers, governors and the countless expensive offices of the Nigerian state designed for patronage and aggrandisement.

Mr Obasanjo

Now emboldened as a civilian who won a rigged election, Obasanjo superintended the millennial impoverishment of his country in impunity, corruption and sale of public assets, brute executive mindlessness and destruction of democratic institutions to the last base of municipal and state infrastructure.

And, just like Gowon, Obasanjo retired and went back to school to get some education he never really had in the beginning.

Messrs Yar’adua / Jonathan

With the exorbitant multi party politics of gun running and violence, which the armed dracos had scribbled upon their constitution, the duo of Yar’adua and Jonathan coasted ahead of the infamous personages of treasury hunters.

Like Abacha, Yar’adua died in office, 2009, paving the way for Jonathan to lead the pirate band. Until he lost out to Buhari in 2015, Jonathan enriched every sycophant in the firmament and turned billionaires of every audacious warlord from the delta conclave. Corruption and impunity soared, and the nation reeled in cluelessness, insecurity and total political and economic non direction.

Mr Buhari

The second coming of the general three decades later was initially greeted with hopefulness which, sooner than had begun, turned to wailing in the mouths of Nigerian citizens. Barely one year in office Mr Buhari, like Mr Obasanjo, proved a fiasco. Weak, inept and deeply noxious to learning or self improvement, Buhari as president failed yet again to unite the country under justice and rule of law.

Leaving anarchy to loom on the nation’s horizon, the cattle rearer forged ahead his conniving pact with his kinsmen and their murderous herder squads at the expense of the rest of the country. Corruption, impunity and flagrant disregard for judicial rulings proved the same under his ruling party and cabal government.

Like the others, public posturing on the national question proved the official gambit. The persecution of perceived political opponents and the protection of his corrupt minions, which had always been Nigerian leaders’ stock in trade from military rule, summed Buhari’s second attempt at leadership.

Added to the rising impunity of his men and aided by the cabal behind his watch, the secrecy of humongous expenditures on his perennial oversea medical tours lent credence to suspicions about the true nature of his ailment, putting such behavioural tendencies firmly under the speculative purview of Cloned Satanic Leaders.

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Notes

(1) Actually Her Majesty’s slur for the great Zik of Africa during Nigeria’s independence talks here deemed appropriate for his kinsman under the discourse.

(2) Gowon’s recent art of public lying goes thus: Daily Trust, May 15 2018, ‘Former military Head of State Gen. Yakubu Gowon (rtd), said on Monday that his regime never experienced anything such as corruption for the nine years it was in power.’ https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/we-didn-t-know-corruption-during-our-time-gowon-250658.html

(3) It had taken Shagari five years, while swearing in his insane flock of 36 ministers, to publicly acknowledge the mounting rubbish of corruption in his government of the time.

(4) Police commissioner Alozie Ogubuaja was frustrated out of the rotten Nigeria Police system for exposing the Nigerian military as lazy, redolent, specialists only in cowardly coups d’etat.

(5) Soyinka escaped the Abacha gulag by the whiskers and proceeded on self exile to Europe where he mounted pressure for sanctions against the kleptomania of Nigerian military under general Abacha.

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2 comments

Nigeria: An illiterate Police chief and a doctored video - Africa Forum - Africa Research 2018-05-22 at 12:44 am

[…] The criminality of police and dissident citizens has become a metaphor of the criminality of a failed government. Its economy with the truth about every national issue has become legendary, its corruption and hypocrisy nearly unequalled in the history of Nigeria’s THIEVING HEADS OF GOVERNMENT. […]

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